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Mafia Gazette Past Issue 127
The Mafia Gazette Issue 127 For All The News That Is News (E&OE) Monday 12th February 'MISSING MILLIONS: THE TRIBUNE SCANDAL ' The Tribune has recently become a widely accepted runner-up to The Gazette’s journalistic crown in our community, and has shown some signs of promise with its reporting. Headed up by MrValentine and JRB primarily, it has been putting out editions for nearly three months now, and has been bringing itself slowly up to a standard generally accepted by the majority of the population. Recently, The Tribune made no secret of receiving a grant of $9,000,000 from The Community Grant Foundation, something which The Tribune publicly stated would be used on better wages for their staff, and rumour has it that more privately the editors had talked of putting up regular competitions for the benefit of the community as a whole. Fantastic, in theory. However the reality of it is The Tribune has not increased its output by any noticeable amount, the only change seeming to be editor MrValentine reaching the rank of Made Man, then bribing an official to be placed back down as a citizen. That, and the addition of “Buying guns and ammo” to his business card. Now, far be it for The Gazette to assume anything, but common perception of these events has lead to many rumours of The Tribune using their Grant Foundation money for their own personal gain, as no noticeable change has been seen in the way the newspaper conducts itself in the streets. So, what happened to the missing millions? Did MrValentine use the money to help himself achieve the rank of Made Man? Is he using it to purchase illegal weapons and ammunition? One thing is for sure, the public don’t seem to be receiving a dime of the money… 'LAS VEGAS PROSPERS WITH ANOTHER NEW MADE ' A few days ago, JRB, a highly regarded member of the LA mob, came to the streets with warm congratulations to a friend of his, who had just been promoted to the esteemed rank of Made Man. So, being the keen young reporters we are here at the Gazette, we decided to give this Made Man a visit at his home in Las Vegas and ask him a few questions. Mr. Al Dodds was happy to see us into the Las Vegas HQ, where he explained that coming from the Big Sleep bloodline was a tough thing to live up to. The Big Sleep ruled Las Vegas through one of the finest periods of the cities existence, as the Boss of the crime family The Unknown Quantity. Mr. Dodds went on to explain how he's very pleased to be working for Ronin and is loving his job as the RHM of the infamous La Società Nera Del Drago. When asked about his goals as a Made Man, Mr. Dodds said that he feels it's his responsibility to ensure the safety of Vegas. A simple, yet noble, cause which we're sure he can see out with ease. He explained how loyalty was his priority and it's the loyalty that they share in Vegas that is producing the strong family the community sees today. I quote, "it's this closeness that will set us in good store in times of trouble as well as times of good fortune." Mr. Al Dodds, Right Hand of Ronin and grandson of The Big Sleep. We can only look forward to what this man and the family he helps to run achieves next. 'STREET SCENE AT ALL TIME LOW ' A slow and steady decline of the streets appears to have been taking place recently, but things appear to have come to a head in the past couple of days. Questions have been asked as to why most seem happier to spend their time discussing issues relevant to the community in places such as the coffee shops and OOC Avenue instead of bringing them to the community at large. One person, when asked why they had chosen to use OOC Avenue for their discussion instead of the streets stated that they didn’t think their discussion was worthy of the streets. At least two cleaners passing the scene commented rather sulkily to the Gazette that the conversation in question would have been just fine had it happened in the street. It would appear that the wrath of the cleaners is used fairly widely as an excuse for hiding discussions in these alleys and coffee shops, where most cleaners would agree that a lot of the topical discussion is now happening in OOC Avenue that could easily have graced our streets. Some of these discussions should surely be in the public eye and up for debate, such as the recent attacks and the simmering war that have made newspaper headlines recently, but have failed to become discussion topics in the street. Other excuses would be the famed law of Omerta covering the Mafia, however even that is becoming a flimsy excuse. Omerta covers family members not discussing family business. It doesn’t stop people who are not family members discussing issues in the streets. If a hoodlum chose to start a debate on the subject of the recent war, he or she would not be governed by the constraints of Omerta, as they would unlikely be part of a family. Even a family member could comment on the war, as long as no family secrets or other private matters were discussed. So why are our streets currently populated with the sort of escapades that would even make a movie stunt-man wince? We see people injured and attending hospitals every day for such common injuries as broken glass cuts from throwing themselves through jewellers windows, shooting incidents from failed heists, and one man nearly getting cut in half after his failed train robbery saw him fall beneath the wheels of the loco. Perhaps if these people took the time to talk as part of the community instead of participating in these overly dangerous, almost fictional in nature criminal activities, the injuries would decrease and the streets would once again be the busy, thriving hub of our community. 'THE OLD MAN SAYS… ' You thought the Old Man was just there to tell you about the Cubs winning the World Series? Think again. In the third of the series of articles, the Old Man imparts his words of wisdom after observing many years of life in the mob. Article Three: Betrayal It is said the deepest circle of hell is reserved for betrayers. In the mafia, this is a very unwise thing to do. Betrayal will get you killed, plain and simple. Most mafia values are based around honour and loyalty, betrayal goes against them at the most basic level. There is one simple piece of advice I will give you: Don’t do it. Whether it be leaving your family to join another, grassing somebody up to the cops, or just giving away information about your family, members lists, whatever it may be, it is the worst insult you could bestow upon your boss, and your friends. Word soon spreads, and if you get a reputation for being a dirty little weasel, you’ll not live long, that’s for sure. Underhanded tactics are a way of life in the mob, but resorting to selling others out, or just plain breaking your word to someone, is a sure-fire ticket to the county morgue. It speaks volumes about you as a person, and will bring shame to your family name for generations to come. I’m keeping this short because there is no alternate viewpoint to discuss. Keep your promises, hold true to your word, and above all, keep your mouth shut at all times. 'CLASSIFIEDS ' The Gazette is once again recruiting, although this time we’ve re-vamped our wage structure! Journalists will now be paid between $100k-$250k for their articles, plus bonuses for regular writers. At this price, why NOT submit a sample for a tryout?! Contact Randle for further details. 19:25, February 17, 2013 (UTC) Aurora Borealis - Mystic to the Mob Following her successful mystic tour of the East Midlands, Aurora is back in the USA and accepting bookings. Cross Aurora’s palm with silver and utilise Aurora’s AMAZING link with the ‘other side’: - Receive insightful and accurate* details of your future - Communicate with dead loved ones. - Find out what Fate has in store for YOU! Visit the phenomenal Aurora NOW. *Accuracy not guaranteed. Aurora Borealis does not accept liability for distress, inaccuracies, or the consequences of ‘other worldly’ advice followed.”